we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
