I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
