she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
