it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
