TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
