Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
