We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
