ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
