I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
