i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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