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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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