i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
