i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm at about main and main street
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
