And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
