In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize