Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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