i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
