Nicole vs. Life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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