I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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