What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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