Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
