...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
