i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize