the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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