I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
