I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
