We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
