i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
