why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
