I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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