What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
