he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
