Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
