So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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