I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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