so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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