? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
