would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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