1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
my poor anus
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
