Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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