Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
