12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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