This is not my ceiling
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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