It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
