So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
