Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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