i need an iv and a liver transplant
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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