Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
