So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
