My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
