Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
