it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
