At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it's not cheating when I paid for it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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