we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
