I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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