mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
