ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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