I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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