Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
