Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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