omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
