I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
