Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
