i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
