You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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